Friday, 22 March 2013

Evaluation

Firstly in my pre-production I had to carry out lots of research mainly focusing on the target audience of my six part TV show this guided me towards the narrative and types of characteristics I wanted in my TV show and initially my script.  I firstly created a questionnaire which I handed out to the required target audience fitting the demographics of my TV show these were a younger teenage working class audience.  I firstly asked questions based around what I wanted to include in my script and TV show the results provided me with lots of information which I used to change various different things an example of this is I reduced the number of characters I had in the TV show from four to three making it easier for the audience to understand each storyline and not making it too complex.     The questions guided me towards the language I needed to use in my script as it was based at a younger teenage audience I included swear words and lots of slag which is heavily associated with youth and teenagers.  All the characters in my script are based around other characters that I have viewed in other media texts I have gained ideas from research in watching similar TV shows to the one that I am wanted to create and used this to my advantage.  A good example of this is the show “The Inbetweeners” in which all of the four characters in that show each have a different personality and are completely different, I tried to include this in my show having each of the different characters being different and hoping people could relate to them. 
When I first made my script for my TV show I didn’t know how to lay it out and what format it needed to be in to be up to the industry standard.  After I created my first draft I then went and researched all different TV show scripts seeing the traits and format they used throughout.  This research was very significant as it then helped me in changing all my script to look and sound respectful.  Researching the script taught me that all dialog has to be aligned towards the centre of the page while all ‘slug lines’ and character descriptions are still aligned to the left of the page.  Another important characteristic about media scripts is that all characters names have to be placed before each piece of dialog, if the character has not been introduced to the audience before their name will be in capitals along with a brief character description.  Another valuable script formatting that I learnt was the use of “QUICK-CUT” this is to show when it is a change of scene in the TV show I used this a lot in my show as there was many changes between different scenes and locations in the narrative.  There is also the difference in “EXT” and “INT” showing the location of the scene if it is external outside or internal inside, this also goes with the location which is normally left aligned along with a short description of the location. 
After a couple drafts of my script I then used focus groups to find out the good and bad points about the script I had created so far.  This research was very significant and useful as it helped me in seeing any faults or mistakes I had made in my script.  It also gave me a chance to listen to new ideas from other people who might have been able to contribute and add more to my script.  The results I got from the focus group questions where very helpful and helped me in creating my fourth draft the one piece of information I gathered was I didn’t have many female characters in my script meaning there was no male gaze or female protagonists in it.  After I had completed the focus group questions I then added a woman character in the script.  After completing this I then carried out more internet research on different TV scripts mainly focusing on TV shows that were very similar to the one I was creating changing different parts of my script.  After I had completed my script I then chose somebody to act out the script this was to see any spelling or grammar errors I had made in the script this worked well as I was able to change some words and phrases to suit the characters acting out the script as most of the words or sentences didn’t make sense.    
In the production side of my coursework I had to create a DVD and promotional poster for my six part tv show, this involved analysing other existing DVD covers and posters from successful tv shows.  Firstly I designed my DVD drawing sketches of ideas which then finally lead to the final ideas drawn out in detail.  The DVD cover I made showed the three main protagonists of my tv show standing at a bar on the front cover.  In my opinion this was good as the audience now can see exactly the three characters that are in the tv show, two of the characters are using direct mode of address staring directly at the camera while the other character is looking the other way which could create enigmas at why the character is acting differently to the other two.  The photograph used is a wide shot showing all three of the characters, this is also a representation of youth as they are all standing there with alcohol and inside a pub.  On the image I have used a greyscale effect this effect has connotations of being old and as the title says “grim” showing that there isn’t much colour in their life and they live boring lives.  The dark, bright colour of red stands out this is used for the title and subtitle.  The colour of red has connotations of blood hinting towards there could be violence in the show, this is also represented with the age verification logo of “15” which I have placed in the bottom right corner of the dvd front cover.     
On the back cover of my dvd cover I have added two images which are stereotypical images of a northern town with the use of housing and factories used in the image.  On the back cover there is the use of two paragraphs briefly explaining to the target audience what the show is about.  On the bottom of the DVD cover I have included the dvd technical details which best represent my tv show as it is taken from a channel 4 show similar to mine.  Throughout the cover I have changed the background colour to a grey/black effect this is to go with the images used and the narrative of the tv show. 
Comparing this dvd cover to other existing covers firstly I will compare it to the popular channel 4 show “The Inbetweeners” which is very similar the Inbetweeners is based around four characters on the DVD cover this also shows just the four characters on the front cover all with different facial expressions.  There is no background image on the image with just the characters placed on a coloured background.  I think my dvd cover is very similar to this as it uses the same technical codes with the mise en scene as the dvd cover is based around the characters. 
I think I could have improved my dvd cover in a few different ways firstly on the back cover there is a big place where more information of images could have been placed, this place could have been used to show another image of the three main protagonists.  The colour of the background could have been changed to represent something else in my show maybe the use of a fire/electricity effect to guide the audience towards the idea that the show is in the sci fi genre.  Also the images used on the back cover are not the best quality of photography I could have chosen or taken better pictures to use. 
Next I created a poster which like the dvd cover I firstly thought of different ideas then drew out all the sketches then finally using “GIMP” and Microsoft Publisher to construct and edit the poster.  The poster I created plays on the stereotype of a northern town with the use of a housing estate.  The picture I took was a wide shot on a housing estate while there was a rainbow in the sky which adds a better effect to the poster which could have connotation of the “powers” which are used in my tv show.    
On the poster I have used a lighting effect with the use of shading and darkness on one half of the poster while the other half being bright and colourful this could be foreshadowing and representing things that happen in the tv show.  In the sky I have put lots of different colours and effects which has connotations of powers and the sci fi genre.  On the bottom left side of the poster I have included the channel four logo showing the audience the channel it will be broadcasted on this will appeal to a certain target audience.  On the bottom on the poster I have also included a small phrase which says “Maybe a working class hero, is something to be” this is firstly a John Lennon quote and has links with the tv show as the show appeals to the working class demographic.  Comparing my poster to other existing ones I think mine is very different as most other posters include characters that are featured in the tv show while mine only shows a location and estate.  Also other posters are normally more computer generated images whilst mine is an actual photograph.  To improve my poster I think I could have included people into the poster while also have the effect that I have but with a number of people doing different gestures in the photograph.   I have also used the same font and text for the title on the poster from the DVD cover keeping the same house style but I could have altered it slightly to get a different look and effect.  Overall I think the poster does guide the target audience towards what the tv show is about with the mise en scene used on the photograph and the lighting effects used in the sky. 

Thursday, 21 March 2013

Poster Final

Poster Designs/Drawings

8 Thumbnail Sketches


4 Initial Ideas





Final Ideas


Poster Analysis

#

The first TV show poster I will be analysing is the popular American comedy show called ‘The Big Bang Theory’.  The poster has lots of connotations in its appearance firstly the way the characters are stood and the poses they are doing for the image make them look like superheroes.  Another example of this connotation is with the lightening coming from the sky to one of the main protagonists laptop which he is holding in his hand.  All the main characters from the TV show are placed on the poster with the leading main protagonists being placed closer to the audience and camera making them more dominant.  The use of the laptops and computers on the poster guide the audience to thinking that these characters will be “geeks” as that is the ideological thought of people who enjoy playing on computers while also having the connotations of the superhero narrative which also fits into that view.  The colours used are very bright and appealing to the audience viewing the poster, the colours used for the title are red and white this could also be associated with the superhero characters.  The characters actions and gestures are a paradigm, a collection of related signs as all the characters are posing using intertextuality as all the poses have been used in other media texts mainly superhero films/shows.     The use of lighting behind all the characters is a bright white one making all the characters look like heroes and good characters.  The use of clothing and dress code on the characters makes them look like students as they are, the clothing could also be a hint of comedy as they aren’t very fashionable clothes.  There are lots of enigmas on this poster as it does not directly represent what the show is about, the poster could fit in a number of different genres for the audience without them actually viewing the show. 


This poster is of the American tv show Heroes, the posters shows all the main protagonists on the bottom of the posters with just their faces showing their faces are also lit differently with the use of lighting on the poster this could show difference in personality and ‘powers’ which is what the show is about.  The main focus point about the poster is the image of the skyline behind them, we know it will be American as most tall high skyscrapers are normally thought of being American cities.   The camera has been position on a 45 degree angle to have the connotations of somebody flying, there is also the use of a big cloud in the centre of the poster to show yet again somebody flying through a main city.  The colours used are very dark this could be to represent the unknown abilities and characters in the show.  The use of text I just plain white in a basic font with the exception of the “O” in the Heroes title, this looks like a sun or moon which is foreshadowing something that appears in the tv show. 
Finally the third poster I will be analysing is the tv show ‘Prison Break’ which is an American thriller, action show which is based around convicts which have a number of different stories and backgrounds who break out of prison.  The two characters on the poster are the two main protagonists Michael Schofield and Lincoln Burrows which the narrative is heavily based around.  Firstly the mise en scene of the poster is very bright there is the use of lighting on the characters posters this could symbolize the difference in the two characters or the unknown characteristics or the characters.  There is the use of cage in-between both characters which is showing that there is also a difference in the characters as it is hinting that one is in prison while another is free and on the outside.  Both characters are using direct mode of address staring straight at the camera making it very intimidating to the audience watching.  The facial expressions on both characters are also very different as the character behind the bars seems to very mysterious and a much happier character than the other.  The character placed closer to the camera has a very angry look on his face directing the audience to think that he is a criminal.  There is the use of a slogan on the poster which says “prisons were made to be broken” which is foreshadowing what happens in the tv show.  The tv channel who broadcast the tv show in America also have their logo on the bottom of the poster with it being a “Fox” logo this has connotations of it being a big tv network which is rated highly meaning the tv show should be good to watch for the viewers.    

DVD Ideas/Drawings

Thumbnail Sketches

4 Initial Ideas


Final Designs

Wednesday, 30 January 2013

DVD Cover Analysis


The First TV show DVD cover I will be analysing is “Max & Paddy’s Road To Nowhere” firstly as we can see the cover is very colourful and uses a wide range of different colours, the colours used mainly reflect those of the logo using the colours red and yellow.  On the front cover we can see the main protagonists of the TV show with them standing back to back and using direct mode of address looking at the audience on the front cover of the DVD.  The front cover also has a cartoon effect on it with it showing different parts from the TV show but in a cartoon drawing.  One of the main focus points of the front cover is the campervan which is centre aligned and the main focus point along with the characters above it.  The DVD cover also uses quotes from other sources of media in this case from the tabloid newspaper “The Mirror” which is to make the audience see that it is a highly regarded TV show.  There is the use of the channel 4 logo on the cover as they were the people that showed the TV show.  The TV show is in the comedy genre we can see this from the DVD cover with the images used and the characters used as Peter Kay and Paddy McGuiness are both famous comedians.  The back of the DVD cover includes a paragraph of text briefly explaining the story of the TV show.  There are also a few images from the show which are for the viewer to see.  The TV show is age certified as being a 15 this means that the language or the storylines used in the TV show aren’t suitable for a younger audience.  The TV show is a representation of Northern English men as both characters play on the stereotype.        



The second DVD TV cover I will be analysing is the TV show Prison Break which is an American TV action, thriller TV show.  The DVD front cover is very dark with the colours black, red and white being used.  There is the use of lots of shadows with the text and on the background images.  The front cover has three of the main characters of the TV show on it with the main protagonist standing closest to the audience.  The characters dress codes are in prison clothing showing that these characters must have also done something wrong.  In the background image there is the image of a man’s body with a large tattoo on his body this is an enigma at what this tattoo means.  On the front cover in the background there is also the use of barbed wire showing the TV show could also be violent, we also know this as the age rating of the TV Show is 15 meaning there will be violence or some other content which isn’t suitable for a younger audience.  There is the use of the Fox logo showing it is well recognised and supported by major people.  The back cover of the DVD cover has the text in white with a black background the text mainly says the names of each episode on the DVD.  There is also the use of small images from the TV show on the back of the DVD cover letting the audience see clips from the show in images.  There is the use of barbed wire again splitting each paragraph.  At the bottom of the DVD cover on the back there is the technical details and lots of images of the HD logo and other sound Dolby Digital logos.      


Finally the third DVD cover i will be analysing is the tv show Hawaii Five-0 which is a remake of the original tv show which was first released in the 1960s.  The front of the DVD cover shows four characters from the show all the characters are the most important part of the film the main protagonist is positioned closest to the audience on the DVD cover.  There is a nice water effect on the front of the cover which goes across most of the characters this shows the semiotics on the dvd cover show that the show is based in Hawaii.  The text on the cover is white and bold and is large on the cover which can clearly be seen by the audience.  The background colour of all the DVD cover is blue which also can indicate that the location of where the show is set is warm and hot which is iconic of Hawaii.  The way the characters are positioned also shows power and authority with the main protagonist standing tall and the other lead character in the show wearing sunglasses showing dominance and power.  The genre that the tv show is a action and thriller we are hinted towards this as all four characters are in a team/squad and could mean that they will work together to solve crimes and mystery's.  The front cover of the DVD also includes three logos which can be recognised the first being the standard DVD logo and the Dolby Digital sound logo indicating the tv show is good quality and finally the logo of the American tv channel CBS indicating the tv show is very popular and gets good tv airtime.  The back cover of the DVD cover has lots of text giving a brief description and introduction into what the TV show is about and some of the characters personalities.  The back cover also has the four main characters again directly addressing the audience showing power and dominance.  The bottom of the back cover includes a barcode and lots of different technical details about the DVD and the tv show.               

Script 5th Draft

Grim Up North

By
Ben Robinson

Fade In:
Tracking shot of an old train going down a track late at night followed by a voiceover while the scene slowly goes onto the empty train carriages.  Different shots of a town showing graffiti and vandalism.    
NOEL (V.O)
Same old routine week after week, boring town with nothing to do apart from either going out causing trouble, getting pissed or sitting in your bedroom on your computer playing video games.  I think it’s time for a change.

QUICK-CUT EXT. Train station – Night
Following a small rough looking character walking out of the station, dark cold night non-diegetic modern music playing
ALEX (V.O)
Working all the time, getting money blowing it on stupid things that’s the story of my life and many others
QUICK-CUT INT. Local Supermarket – Night
Point of view shot from the front of a trolley approaching a tall skinny character, facial expressions hint that he isn’t happy
BARRY (V.O)
College work, exams and all the rest of the stress is just a number of things that we have to put up with
QUICK-CUT INT. College
Character on sat behind a desk daydreaming while listening to a teacher the non-diegetic sound fades out….
MR GRIEVES
Barry? Are you listening?

BARRY
Yes! Sorry just had other things on my mind…
QUICK-CUT EXT. Takeaway – DAY
Earlier on in the day where all three characters are gathered together
NOEL
You’ll never believe it lads I’ve just got 60 quid!  Now the question is what do I spend the money on
BARRY
What from? Who from?
NOEL
The dole 60 quid for sitting on my arse all day doing what I want I can’t complain at that one so what’s the plan for tonight so I can spend this wonga?
ALEX
Yea but sitting on the dole all day inside must be boring go get a proper job heard my place are taking people on, and think I might stay in tonight
NOEL
Fuck that, you’re 20 not 50 we need to be out there on the ‘sesh!’
BARRY
Sounds good but I only have a tenner, student life an all that
NOEL
You’ll be ‘reyt if times get tough I might lend you some, but we can’t have Alex selling us out all because he has work tomorrow 
ALEX
Fine chill out lads I’ll be there but I’m not staying out long
BARRY
‘Yolo’
NOEL
What the fuck did you just say?
BARRY
Yolo? You Only Live Once it’s a saying…
NOEL
A saying for if you’re bent or have a screw loose, never say that again
BARRY
Right sorry ‘dad’ it’s not my fault I get educated unlike some, where we going tonight then?  
Both Noel and Alex laugh at Barry
ALEX
Yea sounds good this time no more trouble I can’t be arsed with all the shit like last time especially with them lads from the other side of town
NOEL
The music is shit but there’s plenty of talent lets do it get ourselves in ‘liquid’ and no hopefully this time Jacob and his pathetic gang will stay out of our way
BARRY
Talent? If by talent you mean horrible looking girls that don’t know the difference between left and right.
  QUICK-CUT EXT. Old Pub – Night  
Later on in the evening where all three characters are, lots of diegetic chatter from other characters
NOEL
Right let the fun begin, who is getting the first round in?
SALLY (Barmaid)
You got any I.D?
NOEL
I’m 21! And you know me anyway
SALLY
Ohh yea you were in my year, Noel isn’t it?
NOEL
Yeaa the one that didn’t speak much or really do anything
SALLY
I remember you didn’t say a word to you when we was in school, weird

NOEL
I know now look at you, you’re alright now
SALLY
Oi cheeky! What you having?
NOEL
Sorry couldn’t resist and three pints of larger please
SALLY
Best watch out there’s something dodgy going on outside I think, where you off too tonight?
NOEL
Liquid sadly by the looks of it
SALLY
(laughs) why on earth are you going there?  Saying that a few mates of mine have asked me to go after I finish here tonight so I might see you in there
As all the characters start drinking the sound of loud police sirens and a police helicopter can be heard outside
ALEX
What do you think that is?  Sounds like something serious and close!
BARRY
Lets check it out it’s not exactly exciting in here
All the characters leave the pub quickly downing their drinks while quickly jogging out of the pub
QUICK-CUT EXT. Street – Night
Lots of Police in riot clothing
NOEL
Wow must be something big lets get closer
POLICE OFFICER
Sorry lads you can’t go any further
NOEL
Why?  It’s a free country what’s happened?
POLICE OFFICER
It might be but at this time you aren’t going up this road!
ALEX
Come on Noel leave it
All of the characters walk away while the loud sounds of smashing glass and cheering can be heard in the distant
ALEX
Come on there’s another way round
BARRY
Are you two stupid, whatever he said don’t go in or any further
NOEL
I’m not missing this something finally going on and not seeing it! 
QUICK-CUT EXT. STREET – Night
 There is a small riot taking place between two sets of football fans
BARRY
I’m going home I don’t fancy me head getting kicked in or being burnt to death by a bunch of bald headed idiots
ALEX
Stay! Don’t be a big girl
NOEL
Here lets go down here…
QUICK-CUT EXT. Dark back alley - Night
A bright light in the distance
BARRY
What’s that light?
NOEL
It looks like a light but it’s all blurred and a weird colour

ALEX
Obviously!
NOEL
Shut up Alex let’s get down there and check it out!
As all the characters are slowly walking down the back alley a hooded character tall with just the bottom of his face showing looks strange, runs past
HOODED MAN
Run!
BARRY
Come on aren’t you guys listening to him?!
NOEL
No we have come this far now we have to check it out
As they approach the bright white light the characters are all blinded and dazed
QUICK-CUT INT. Noel’s House - Night
All the characters are sat on the chairs asleep and are woke by the TV showing a bright white light
NOEL
What the hell has just happened?!
ALEX
Was that a dream?
BARRY
It couldn’t be how did we get here and we are all having the same dream?
NOEL
You lads I remember what I did well I think, we were walking towards that bright light in that ginnel
ALEX
Yes!
BARRY
It’s impossible things like this just don’t happen

NOEL
Does anyone else feel weird? I feel pissed but haven’t even drunk anything
ALEX
No nothing?
BARRY
Right I think we need to find out what that was in the back alley
NOEL
Yea but how?
ALEX
Lets go back there now?
NOEL
Fine! Come on quick!
QUICK-CUT EXT. Back Alley - Night  
All three characters slowly approaching it with caution
NOEL
There’s nothing here!
ALEX
Keep looking there must be something
BARRY
Even the football crowd have gone there’s just no explanation for this
Police Officer approaches the group of lads
POLICE OFFICER
So what are you boys doing down here?
NOEL
Aren’t you the one that told us to go away before? What happened to the football fans?
POLICE OFFICER
I can’t remember, now what are you doing down here?
POLICE OFFICER
Now there’s nothing happened now can you please go home or go somewhere else apart from hanging around the streets and in ally ways
NOEL
Fine lets go back to mine
 QUICK-CUT. INT. Noel’s House – Night
BARRY
Well it can only be one thing then…
ALEX
Go on….
BARRY
We teleported or somehow used some sort of unrealistic power
NOEL
Impossible!
ALEX
It might sounds like a load of bollocks but he has got a point, how else could we have got from there to here without even walking?
NOEL
There will be something!
ALEX
I saw this show once where something like this happened and they all had different ‘powers’
NOEL
‘Powers’?!  You’re making us sound like we’re Batman and Robin!  Grow up
ALEX
Really? Well watch that
Alex picks up a lighter from the table and throws it straight at Noels’ head
NOEL
Oww! What do you think you’re doing you dickhead?!
Noel then gets up going to attack Alex just as he does…
QUICK-CUT INT. Alex’s House - Night
ALEX
Where am I?  This is my room!
QUICK-CUT. INT Noel’s House - Night
BARRY
He has gone again?! It must be him
NOEL
Wow now I am starting to believe your rubbish, quick ring him!
Barry gets his mobile phone out to ring Alex
QUICK-CUT. INT. Alex’s House - Night
His phone is ringing in his pocket which he rushes to get
ALEX
Hello, you will never believe it!
QUICK-CUT. INT Noel’s House - Night
BARRY
Where are you?!
QUICK-CUT INT. Alex’s House - Night
ALEX
Back in my house I did it again! It’s me I must be able to do it!
QUICK-CUT. INT. Noel’s House - Night
BARRY
Get back round here then!
QUICK-CUT INT. Alex’s House - Night
ALEX
I can’t control it I don’t know how it happens?!
QUICK-CUT INT. Noel’s House - Night
BARRY
Well Walk
QUICK-CUT. INT Alex’s House - Night
ALEX
Right I’ll be back around in a bit
QUICK-CUT. INT Noel’s House - Night
NOEL
Well if he can do something I’m sure we can
BARRY
I think it has something to do with that light!
NOEL
Yea not a bad thought! What do we do?  Go out still hi the town
BARRY
Yeah! Still would be good I’m up for it as it’s a Saturday
Alex comes into the room
ALEX
You see it lads?! I was here then I was gone
NOEL
Yea we saw! That doesn’t mean I still won’t smack you
ALEX
That’s what it must be at the minute when I’m in danger I move places somehow! 
NOEL
Just shows how much of a wimp you are!
ALEX
Shut up I don’t see you doing anything special
NOEL
You never know in time anyway coming town?  See what happens there you never know you might be disappearing all the time with the sight of girls
ALEX
Aha very funny! And Yeah I will do
NOEL
Lets see what magic we’re in for tonight…

QUICK-CUT. EXT. Town Centre – Night
Camera edits between different clips showing people walking around the streets dressed to go out and drunk, the camera the follows the three characters as they are walking towards an old, worn down building.
NOEL
Let’s hope that idiot Jacob isn’t out tonight or we’re all in for an eventful night!
ALEX
Yea I can’t be bothered with fighting especially after all that has happened to us today
As the characters are talking about this a loud crowd of men are shouting from the opposite side of the street
JACOB
Oi you lot!
BARRY
You were just saying….
JACOB
Don’t you dare ignore me you worthless dorks
NOEL
What do you want now?! (Shouting across the street)
BARRY
What have you done that for Noel?!
NOEL
I’ve had enough of him giving us crap and us not saying anything back, all because he hangs around with a bunch of meat heads he thinks he is one of them
Jacob a small man lots of spots currently wearing a full tracksuit walks across the road towards the three characters
JACOB
What were you saying?
NOEL
What do you want from us now?
JACOB
You were staring at me and I don’t like people that stare
NOEL
I didn’t look your way once why would I want to look at a ugly mug like you
JACOB
Oh you’re going to regret that one I’ll see you in liquid and it might be the last time you see me
Jacob strolls back across the road towards the large group of lads with a large smirk on his face
As he is walking away Noel holds his head in pain while hearing a quiet sound of Jacobs voice saying “they’re dead, going down as soon as they get in liquid”
NOEL
Ouch!  My head
BARRY
What? You handled that one perfectly now we’re going to get killed!
NOEL
I just heard his voice like his thoughts in my head
BARRY
Not another one it all sounds pathetic!
NOEL
Really I heard what he was thinking saying we’re going to get hit as soon as we enter the club ‘liquid’
ALEX
Well I’m no longer the special one   

BARRY
Clearly not now I feel the odd one out
As the characters all are talking Noel starts to sway and collapses to the floor
ALEX
Shit! Get him up see if he is ok
Both Alex and Barry run and pick him up, Noel eyes slowing open
NOEL
It just went black and all I could hear was people’s voice and thoughts
ALEX
Well you can’t go out if this is going to keep happening
NOEL
I’ll be fine I think I’ll keep soldiering on and trying to control this
BARRY
Well if it happens again we’re going home
NOEL
Lets get in there see what happens!
QUICK-CUT. INT. Night Club – Night





Acted Out

After finishing the fourth draft of my script i then gave my script to a few people and made them act it out, this was good as i found out any faults within the script with the language used as some of it was slang and didn't come across well in writing.  After finding a few faults i then changed a few words and sayings in my final draft

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Script 4th Draft



Grim Up North

By
Ben Robinson

Fade In:
Tracking shot of an old train going down a track late at night followed by a voiceover while the scene slowly goes onto the empty train carriages.  Different shots of a town showing graffiti and vandalism.    
NOEL (V.O)
Same old routine week after week, boring town with nothing to do apart from either going out causing trouble, getting pissed or sitting in your bedroom on your computer playing video games.  I think it’s time for a change.

QUICK-CUT EXT. Train station – Night
Following a small rough looking character walking out of the station, dark cold night non-diegetic modern music playing
ALEX (V.O)
Working all the time, getting money blowing it on stupid things that’s the story of my life and many others
QUICK-CUT INT. Local Supermarket – Night
Point of view shot from the front of a trolley approaching a tall skinny character, facial expressions hint that he isn’t happy
BARRY (V.O)
College work, exams and all the rest of the stress is just a number of things that we have to put up with
QUICK-CUT INT. College
Character on sat behind a desk daydreaming while listening to a teacher the non-diegetic sound fades out….
MR GRIEVES
Barry? Are you listening?

BARRY
Yes! Sorry just had other things on my mind…
QUICK-CUT EXT. Takeaway – DAY
Earlier on in the day where all three characters are gathered together
NOEL
You’ll never believe it lads I’ve just got 60 quid!  Now the question is what do I spend the money on
BARRY
What from? Who from?
NOEL
The dole 60 quid for sitting on my arse all day doing what I want I can’t complain at that one so what’s the plan for tonight so I can spend this wonga?
ALEX
Yea but sitting on the dole all day inside must be boring go get a proper job heard my place are taking people on, and think I might stay in tonight
NOEL
Fuck that, you’re 20 not 50 we need to be out there on the ‘sesh!’
BARRY
Sounds good but I only have a tenner, student life an all that
NOEL
You’ll be ‘reyt if times get tough I might lend you some, but we can’t have Alex selling us out all because he has work tomorrow 
ALEX
Fine chill out lads I’ll be there but I’m not staying out long
BARRY
‘Yolo’
NOEL
What the fuck did you just say?
BARRY
Yolo? You Only Live Once it’s a saying…
NOEL
A saying for if you’re bent or have a screw loose, never say that again
BARRY
Right sorry ‘dad’ it’s not my fault I get educated unlike some, where we going tonight then?  
Both Noel and Alex laugh at Barry
ALEX
Yea sounds good this time no more trouble I can’t be arsed with all the shit like last time especially with them lads from the other side of town
NOEL
The music is shit but there’s plenty of talent lets do it get ourselves in ‘liquid’ and no hopefully this time Jacob and his pathetic gang will stay out of our way
BARRY
Talent? If by talent you mean horrible looking girls that don’t know the difference between left and right.
  QUICK-CUT EXT. Old Pub – Night  
Later on in the evening where all three characters are, lots of diegetic chatter from other characters
NOEL
Right let the fun begin, who is getting the first round in?
SALLY (Barmaid)
You got any I.D?
NOEL
I’m 21! And you know me anyway
SALLY
Ohh yea you were in my year, Noel isn’t it?
NOEL
Yeaa the one that didn’t speak much or really do anything
SALLY
I remember you didn’t say a word to you when we was in school, weird

NOEL
I know now look at you, you’re alright now
SALLY
Oi cheeky! What you having?
NOEL
Sorry couldn’t resist and three pints of larger please
SALLY
Best watch out there’s something dodgy going on outside I think, where you off too tonight?
NOEL
Liquid sadly by the looks of it
SALLY
(laughs) why on earth are you going there?  Saying that a few mates of mine have asked me to go after I finish here tonight so I might see you in there
As all the characters start drinking the sound of loud police sirens and a police helicopter can be heard outside
ALEX
What do you think that is?  Sounds like something serious and close!
BARRY
Lets check it out it’s not exactly exciting in here
All the characters leave the pub quickly downing their drinks while quickly jogging out of the pub
QUICK-CUT EXT. Street – Night
Lots of Police in riot clothing
NOEL
Wow must be something big lets get closer
POLICE OFFICER
Sorry lads you can’t go any further
NOEL
Why?  It’s a free country what’s happened?
POLICE OFFICER
It might be but at this time you aren’t going up this road!
ALEX
Come on Noel leave it
All of the characters walk away while the loud sounds of smashing glass and cheering can be heard in the distant
ALEX
Come on there’s another way round
BARRY
Are you two stupid, whatever he said don’t go in or any further
NOEL
I’m not missing this something finally going on and not seeing it! 
QUICK-CUT EXT. STREET – Night
 There is a small riot taking place between two sets of football fans
BARRY
I’m going home I don’t fancy me head getting kicked in or being burnt to death by a bunch of bald headed idiots
ALEX
Stay! Don’t be a big girl
NOEL
Here lets go down here…
QUICK-CUT EXT. Dark back alley - Night
A bright light in the distance
BARRY
What’s that light?
NOEL
It looks like a light but it’s all blurred and a weird colour

ALEX
Obviously!
NOEL
Shut up Alex let’s get down there and check it out!
As all the characters are slowly walking down the back alley a hooded character tall with just the bottom of his face showing looks strange, runs past
HOODED MAN
Run!
BARRY
Come on aren’t you guys listening to him?!
NOEL
No we have come this far now we have to check it out
As they approach the bright white light the characters are all blinded and dazed
QUICK-CUT INT. Noel’s House - Night
All the characters are sat on the chairs asleep and are woke by the TV showing a bright white light
NOEL
What the hell has just happened?!
ALEX
Was that a dream?
BARRY
It couldn’t be how did we get here and we are all having the same dream?
NOEL
You lads I remember what I did well I think, we were walking towards that bright light in that ginnel
ALEX
Yes!
BARRY
It’s impossible things like this just don’t happen

NOEL
Does anyone else feel weird? I feel pissed but haven’t even drunk anything
ALEX
No nothing?
BARRY
Right I think we need to find out what that was in the back alley
NOEL
Yea but how?
ALEX
Lets go back there now?
NOEL
Fine! Come on quick!
QUICK-CUT EXT. Back Alley - Night  
All three characters slowly approaching it with caution
NOEL
There’s nothing here!
ALEX
Keep looking there must be something
BARRY
Even the football crowd have gone there’s just no explanation for this
Police Officer approaches the group of lads
POLICE OFFICER
So what are you boys doing down here?
NOEL
Aren’t you the one that told us to go away before? What happened to the football fans?
POLICE OFFICER
I can’t remember, now what are you doing down here?
POLICE OFFICER
Now there’s nothing happened now can you please go home or go somewhere else apart from hanging around the streets and in ally ways
NOEL
Fine lets go back to mine
 QUICK-CUT. INT. Noel’s House – Night
BARRY
Well it can only be one thing then…
ALEX
Go on….
BARRY
We teleported or somehow used some sort of unrealistic power
NOEL
Impossible!
ALEX
It might sounds like a load of bollocks but he has got a point, how else could we have got from there to here without even walking?
NOEL
There will be something!
ALEX
I saw this show once where something like this happened and they all had different ‘powers’
NOEL
‘Powers’?!  You’re making us sound like we’re Batman and Robin!  Grow up
ALEX
Really? Well watch that
Alex picks up a lighter from the table and throws it straight at Noels’ head
NOEL
Oww! What do you think you’re doing you dickhead?!
Noel then gets up going to attack Alex just as he does…
QUICK-CUT INT. Alex’s House - Night
ALEX
Where am I?  This is my room!
QUICK-CUT. INT Noel’s House - Night
BARRY
He has gone again?! It must be him
NOEL
Wow now I am starting to believe your rubbish, quick ring him!
Barry gets his mobile phone out to ring Alex
QUICK-CUT. INT. Alex’s House - Night
His phone is ringing in his pocket which he rushes to get
ALEX
Hello, you will never believe it!
QUICK-CUT. INT Noel’s House - Night
BARRY
Where are you?!
QUICK-CUT INT. Alex’s House - Night
ALEX
Back in my house I did it again! It’s me I must be able to do it!
QUICK-CUT. INT. Noel’s House - Night
BARRY
Get back round here then!
QUICK-CUT INT. Alex’s House - Night
ALEX
I can’t control it I don’t know how it happens?!
QUICK-CUT INT. Noel’s House - Night
BARRY
Well Walk
QUICK-CUT. INT Alex’s House - Night
ALEX
Right I’ll be back around in a bit
QUICK-CUT. INT Noel’s House - Night
NOEL
Well if he can do something I’m sure we can
BARRY
I think it has something to do with that light!
NOEL
Yea not a bad thought! What do we do?  Go out still hi the town
BARRY
Yeah! Still would be good I’m up for it as it’s a Saturday
Alex comes into the room
ALEX
You see it lads?! I was here then I was gone
NOEL
Yea we saw! That doesn’t mean I still won’t smack you
ALEX
That’s what it must be at the minute when I’m in danger I move places somehow! 
NOEL
Just shows how much of a wimp you are!
ALEX
Shut up I don’t see you doing anything special
NOEL
You never know in time anyway coming town?  See what happens there you never know you might be disappearing all the time with the sight of girls
ALEX
Aha very funny! And Yeah I will do
NOEL
Lets see what magic we’re in for tonight…

QUICK-CUT. EXT. Town Centre – Night
Camera edits between different clips showing people walking around the streets dressed to go out and drunk, the camera the follows the three characters as they are walking towards an old, worn down building.
NOEL
Let’s hope that idiot Jacob isn’t out tonight or we’re all in for an eventful night!
ALEX
Yea I can’t be bothered with fighting especially after all that has happened to us today
As the characters are talking about this a loud crowd of men are shouting from the opposite side of the street
JACOB
Oi you lot!
BARRY
You were just saying….
JACOB
Don’t you dare ignore me you worthless dorks
NOEL
What do you want now?! (Shouting across the street)
BARRY
What have you done that for Noel?!
NOEL
I’ve had enough of him giving us crap and us not saying anything back, all because he hangs around with a bunch of meat heads he thinks he is one of them
Jacob a small man lots of spots currently wearing a full tracksuit walks across the road towards the three characters
JACOB
What were you saying?
NOEL
What do you want from us now?
JACOB
You were staring at me and I don’t like people that stare
NOEL
I didn’t look your way once why would I want to look at a ugly mug like you
JACOB
Oh you’re going to regret that one I’ll see you in liquid and it might be the last time you see me
Jacob strolls back across the road towards the large group of lads with a large smirk on his face
As he is walking away Noel holds his head in pain while hearing a quiet sound of Jacobs voice saying “they’re dead, going down as soon as they get in liquid”
NOEL
Ouch!  My head
BARRY
What? You handled that one perfectly now we’re going to get killed!
NOEL
I just heard his voice like his thoughts in my head
BARRY
Not another one it all sounds pathetic!
NOEL
Really I heard what he was thinking saying we’re going to get hit as soon as we enter the club ‘liquid’
ALEX
Well I’m no longer the special one   

BARRY
Clearly not now I feel the odd one out
As the characters all are talking Noel starts to sway and collapses to the floor
ALEX
Shit! Get him up see if he is ok
Both Alex and Barry run and pick him up, Noel eyes slowing open
NOEL
It just went black and all I could hear was people’s voice and thoughts
ALEX
Well you can’t go out if this is going to keep happening
NOEL
I’ll be fine I think I’ll keep soldiering on and trying to control this
BARRY
Well if it happens again we’re going home
NOEL
Lets get in there see what happens!


After doing the internet research i have amended the fourth draft of my script.